Sorry Jorie, it was a bad joke. A tanner was someone who tanned leather. Basically it was a horribly smelly job. Machinery does that job nowadays. So no one marries a tanner these days. That would be a bad deal for someone who married a guy who became that.
I understand that each divorce has it’s own case. It is a reality for some people and usually when people divorce, it’s because they thought it out very well and had guidance along the way.
Some people stay in a marriage with all types of crazy situations. I have a friend who just ended her 4th marriage. She’s been through a lot. But knowing her story, it makes sense that each one ended in divorce, it was the right thing for her to do.
We never know the whole story until we hear it all. It’s not for us to judge someone elses experience. That’s why we leave it up to the Rabbi’s for guidance.